Fear, indecision, anxiety, excitement, anger, embarrassment, disappointment.
Over the past few months I’ve experienced all of these; a myriad of emotions and moods from soul-crushing self-deprecation to the dizzying heights of unbridled optimism where anything seems possible.
This is because I recently made the decision to quit my job for the sake of my mental health.
When I put it like that it seems so simple.
I couldn’t cope so I quit – it was definitely the wisest choice I could have made.
But this is coming from someone whose unabashed pride and ambition means I’d sooner rather walk over hot coals than admit defeat.
I’m a cutting off your nose to spite your face kind of person.
Once I set my sights on a goal I reach for it at all costs, seemingly blind to the fact that I’m being reckless with my health and sanity.
Of course most things that are worth having come at a cost but that goes for my health as well.
Now I’m living with my dad and having had time to rest, recuperate, travel a little and visit friends, I definitely feel a lot better.
At first I thought that quitting a job I’d worked so hard to get meant I’d failed.
But that’s not true at all.
It takes immense courage to achieve your goals but sometimes we’re aiming for all the wrong targets.
For too long I’d been living life in the fast lane and running on an invisible treadmill as I sprang from one thing to another, never taking the time to properly look after myself.
It maybe doesn’t have to be something as drastic as quitting your job but today, do something different, take a break, say “no” to someone, or “yes” to an opportunity.
Do something for yourself, protect your mental health, stand by your decisions and accept change.
Now that takes real courage.