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10 things only hopeless romantics will understand

1.) You’re not afraid to say “I love you”

Some people would rather shave off their eyebrows than say those three words but you don’t shy away from expressing how you feel. Even when you know that it makes you more vulnerable and easier to hurt you say it anyway because life’s too short to bottle up our emotions.

love i love you one tree hill chad michael murray lucas scott

 

2.) You want your life to be like a film 

You love chick-flicks and secretly hope that one day you’ll get a proposal like the one in The Notebook  or have a Breakfast at Tiffany’s style kiss in the rain. Of course you know that life isn’t like the films but that doesn’t mean that it’s naive or silly to search for those cinematic moments in your own love life. Moonlit walk on the beach anyone?

the notebook creepy online times ryan

3.) You set high standards 

You tend to set high standards for what you look for in a partner and why shouldn’t you? Settling for less than you deserve isn’t being realistic it’s just plain sad.

relationships the hills lauren conrad standards audrina patridge

 

4.) You write love poems and songs

When you’re in love you can’t help but let it pour forth in the form of poetry or song. Although everyone knows that words alone can never truly express how you feel.

blue red roses logic ryanhiga

 

5.) You believe in Mr. Right

Even though you’ve only ever encountered Mr.Wrongs (and a few Mr. No fucking ways) you steadfastly believe that somewhere out there is the man for you. You just need to find him.

MGM Christmas believe miracle on 34th street christmas santa claus

 

6.) You daydream and fantasise

You can’t help yourself from fantasising about the future. You may have only met this guy this morning but that won’t stop you from imaging what he’d look like in a suit, bent down on one knee, standing at an altar. The next thing you know you’re naming your future children and deciding if you’d rather live in the city or the countryside but you haven’t even been on date no.2 yet.

music love girl ed sheeran a team

 

7.) People often think you’re desperate  

Just because you wear your heart on your sleeve doesn’t make you desperate. You’re so full of love and emotion and it frustrates you that you don’t have anyone to share it with so when a person comes along who you click with it can be hard for you not to come on too strong. Don’t listen to the people who tell you you’re crazy – they’re just jealous and most likely emotionally retarded.

drinking i love you will ferrell elf buddy the elf

 

8.) Heartbreak hits you harder than most

You believe strongly in love so when it doesn’t go to plan it can cause you a lot of pain. You start to question if after so many disappointing and unhappy endings is it really the guy that’s the problem and not you? Don’t take rejection too personally; It happens to everyone.

 

rachel bilson heartbreak broken heart sad hart of dixie

9.) You never stop believing in True Love

You don’t quite believe that True Love’s kiss could wake you up from a Sleeping Beauty style coma but you do eagerly anticipate the guy who is going to reawaken your belief and hope in mankind’s capacity to love. You know he’s out there somewhere.

love black and white world i love you romance

 

10.) You’re not hopeless

You know that you’ve been labelled a “hopeless” romantic for a reason but that doesn’t deter you from your quest to find happiness. Nothing is impossible and love cannot be found without the hope that it truly exists.

tumblr heart i love you i miss you a heart full of love

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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My unofficial guide to drunk- texting

 

me and phone

Ooops…I did it again

 

1.) Don’t do it!

If you can help it, don’t do it. When going on a night out it’s always safer to bring your phone for obvious reasons however if you’re just getting pissed at home it’s best to turn it off and put in your drawer so you won’t be tempted or better still put it in the hands of your more sensible friend who always stops drinking when they reach just the right level of tipsy. However this isn’t a guide for sensible individuals so….

2.) Keep it light

It’s best not to spew out too many of your emotions or darkest secrets via text (you’ll be spewing up enough later). Affirmations like “I love you” and questions like “Should we be exclusive?” really lose their potency in a text message and deserve to be discussed for the first time face to face.

3.) Never text an ex

We’ve all done it but texting an ex is never a good idea especially when you’re drunk. All of the bitterness, the anger or the longing to get back together with the other person will just culminate to form a message which at the time you think eloquently and poetically expresses how you feel but in reality it’s something like  “U cheated on me. like what? m8 so happy we’re overs.”

4.) Be flirty, not dirty 

I think downright dirty texts in isolation are just a bit vulgar but if they’re part of an ongoing repartee by all means crack on. I think it’s always better not to give too much of the game away though so a flirty text which offers everything but promises nothing is perfect. e.g “it’s so hot tonight I have to sleep naked. Wish I had a fan.”

5.) Don’t make it obvious that you’re drunk

This is probably the hardest thing to do but once you’ve mastered predictive texting it’s all plain sailing from there. Avoid stating how much you’ve drunk as well as it will just strip the credibility from anything you say thereafter.

6.) Make sure you send it to the intended recipient

There’s nothing more embarrassing than accidentally sending a text to your mum which says “hey sexy, want you in my bed” so please always double check that you’ve got the right recipient keyed in.

7.) Have no regrets

So if you can’t follow this guide to a T, I’m frankly not surprised- we all say things we regret when we’re drunk and the invention of texting has just made it all the more easier for us to make complete arses of ourselves. If you wake up the next day to realise that you’ve sent a text which is diabolically embarrassing/revealing/regrettable the best thing you can do is just hold your head high and make a false promise to yourself that you will never again drink and text. At least you have a funny story.

 

 

 

 

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My unofficial guide to dating

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Well they’re not my favourite pair…

Disclaimer: Before you read any further please be advised that I am actually the real life incarnation of Bridget Jones (I’ve even gone to a party dressed up as a bunny when everyone else shunned fancy dress) therefore I am in no way a relationships expert. Any advice I give is purely my own opinion and you heed it at your own risk 🙂

1.) Delete Tinder
Do it now! Tinder may seem like fun but no matter how many stories you’ve heard of people who found their other half on it you’re most likely just to end up with a load of pervy messages and a swiping addiction.  I’ve never actually been on a Tinder date since the one time I did try to arrange a meeting the boy stood me up *cry*.  In the end I just had loads of matches and was meaninglessy making small talk and engaging in pun wars with people I was never likely to meet in real life. An app can and never will replace the feeling of meeting someone in a bar or a club. It takes away all of the romance, the rush you feel when your eyes meet across the dancefloor, that nervous beating in your chest. It’s time to take instruction from the ever wise Dora the explorer. Swiper no swiping! Adios Tinder.

2.) Get out there!
Now that you’ve deleted Tinder you’ll have lots more time to actually go out and meet new people. You can’t complain about never meeting someone special when all you do is stay at home and watch Titanic in your underwear. Don’t be afraid to make new friends by going to different places and perhaps joining a new club. It can be all too easy to always stick with your same circle of friends but branching out will give you more confidence and ultimately increase your chances of finding Mr. Right.

3.) Don’t rule out the “boring” ones
Ok so he doesn’t have tattoos or ride a motorcycle but the boy with glasses who’s reading the Independent will most likely be kind, friendly, loyal and less likely to have a criminal record. “Interesting” boys like troubled artists who smoke weed, write poetry and wear bandanas may make you think you’re in love at the beginning but in time you’ll realise that you fundamentally have little in common. I’m not saying you shouldn’t go for a certain type of guy. Just don’t make that your only reason for falling for him.

4.) Don’t be too crazy
We’ve all done crazy things in the name of love like stalking someone on Facebook or perhaps solliciting a tarot reading to ask questions about them (not me of course) but it can help to take a step back and ask yourself if it’s really love or just infatuation. It can be easy to come on a bit too strong and make it obvious that you like someone. Play it cool in the beginning. I don’t necessarily mean wait three days to text back or some other silly rule. Just try to figure out if he likes you too. Are you always the one to initiate chats and dates or is it a two-way street?

5.) Spanx to the max
So you’ve been asked out on a date. Congratulations! Now the only problem is deciding what to wear. Unless you’ve been born with perfect genetics or are extremely athletic you’re likely to have some body hang ups. Whatever else I’m wearing I always feel most confident when I have my Bridget Jones knickers on and confidence is extremely attractive. So go on, buy yourself a pair! You won’t have to suck in your stomach anymore!

6.) Be yourself
Who else would you be? When you’re on a date it can be tempting to come across as a better version of yourself by stifling your snort when you laugh or denying you have an unhealthy obsession with cats. It’s these little things however that make you who you are and if they’re enough to turn off your date then he isn’t worth your time in the first place. It might not seem like it but one day you’ll find someone who loves you for all of your little quirks and won’t run a mile when you tell him you have four cats.

7.) Never sext!
Dirty texts are fine (if you have a way with words) but it’s best not to send naked pictures of yourself, ever. There’s always the chance that you’ll accidentally add it to a group message, your boss sees it or it ends up going to the wrong recipient. It’s also best not to give anyone material with which they could potentially blackmail you in the future. Even snapchats can be screen shotted and remember that once something’s on the internet it will haunt you forever.

8.) Sexpectations
You’ve probably heard your granny say at some point that “men only want one thing” and sadly that can be true. Don’t feel pressured into jumping between the sheets if you don’t feel ready and never do it on the first date – no matter how hot he is. Physical intimacy is an important part of relationships but  someone who respects your boundaries and makes you feel comfortable is worth waiting for.

9.) Don’t argue over the bill
Being the modern woman that I am, I personally prefer to always pay my own way and split the bill. If however the guy fervently insists on picking up the tab I’m not going to kick up a fuss – it would be unseemly and ultimately quite awkward. Sometimes I think boys just like to pay to assert their masculinity. Either way, it’s up to you how you react but there are worse things than having someone buy you dinner.

10.) Don’t stop believing
If at first you don’t succeed, try, try and try again. You may have to wade through a sea of frogs and go on some downright ghastly dates till you find your Prince, but he’s out there, trust me. He may not ride a white horse but you’ll find him eventually. Don’t let bad experiences with the other sex knock your confidence or get you down.  There’s someone, somewhere waiting for you, and he’s wondering why you’re taking so bloody long to get there!